We have been back to school for a little over 2 weeks now.
My daughters are in 3rd and 1st grade. We are entering
the territory of separate playdates for separate daughters. The older daughter is at the age where she is
being invited for playdates without her sister. This is completely appropriate and normal. However,
my husband swears that he and his brother were best friends and never did anything
without the other.
This week, Sophie, 3rd grade, was invited to a Belgian
friend’s house Friday after school for a playdate. The exchange went something like this:
We are standing in the schoolyard after school. Parents are
chatting while kids are having one last go on the playground equipment before
being carted off home at the end of the day. My daughter and her friend
approach me and the Belgian Mom (BM).
Belgian Daughter (BD) to BM: Can Sofee come to ow-ah house for
playdayt on frightee?
BM: Shrugs her shoulder and turns to me. “Is dat ohkee
witchoo?”
I say sure, sounds great. But in my mind, I am thinking
little sister has just been left out in the cold. We discuss it on the car ride
home. I really don’t even want to tell
Vivi about this playdate because I know it is going to trigger an outburst.
Viv moans, squinting her eyes in pain, “Sophie’s going to
Lois’s house? But not me? OH! I HATE it when Sophie gets invited to playdates.
It’s NOT FAIR!”
“Well, what if we invite Leon (pronounced Lay-on) over to
our house for a playdate?” I suggest.
Leon is the brother of BD. He is in Vivi’s class.
She immediately brightens. “OK Mommy.” Problem solved.
Two days later, I am chatting with BM again when BD and
Sophie approach. This time they have another proposition.
BD to BM: something unintelligible in Belgian
BM to me: Lois is asking if Sofee can spent da nyte? Is dat
okee?
I say sure, but I know Vivi will be crushed. Even the offer
of sleeping in the bed with me can not fix the feeling of abandonment she has
when her sister is invited somewhere to spend the night without her. Suddenly, I remember about inviting the
brother for Vivi to play with. I ask BM
and she says it’s OK.
Right now, all is well. Vivi barely acknowledged leaving
school without Sophie. I brought her and Leon home and they are both happy.
They are playing very nicely. I love the low drama factor when my daughter
plays with a boy. I seem to remember having the same low drama, low fuss
experience when playing with boys myself.
They were out in the garden (this means yard in the US) and
I heard them talking excitedly about pumpkins. Pumpkins grow all year here and
are a main staple. We tried our hand at planting a few but so far, not so good.
I hear Vivi shout: “No Layon! Let’s show my Mom!! She been
waiting FIVE WHOLE YEARS for a PUMPKIN!” They run inside to get me. I pretend to be
surprised.
The small green pumpkin is the size of a large orange. It is
hanging on a brown and withered vine. I don’t even know how it still looks so
green and fresh.
“Can we carve it?” Vivi asks.
Soon Leon’s mom will come to pick him up. I hope I can be enough for Vivi tonight.
She was utterly shattered when Sophie had a Brownie sleepover at the end of
last school year. I had never seen her heart so broken and it killed me.
Her moods can pass like clouds in the sky. I never know how she is going to react. A
strong reaction one day does not necessarily portend the same kind of reaction
the next time. Does that mean they are growing up?
UPDATE: When BM came to pick up Leon, Vivi protested saying she would be bored. She quickly asked if Leon could spend the night with her! Leon is VERY tiny. He is 6 but looks 4. He claims he is not scared to spend the night.
His mom said it was OK so now we have our very own sleepover guest.
UPDATE 2: All went great! Fed them dinner, there is no drama at all. Brush teeth, pj's and he climbs up into the top bunk. He is so low key. We read a story, say prayers and then he says, "I think I feel a bit scared."
Do you want me to call your mom? He says yes.
Daddy came and picked him up. It was a stellar effort for such a little guy to try a sleepover. I told him I was proud of him and he could come back and try again anytime.
Vivi is now bathing herself so she can sleep in my bed tonight.
UPDATE: When BM came to pick up Leon, Vivi protested saying she would be bored. She quickly asked if Leon could spend the night with her! Leon is VERY tiny. He is 6 but looks 4. He claims he is not scared to spend the night.
His mom said it was OK so now we have our very own sleepover guest.
UPDATE 2: All went great! Fed them dinner, there is no drama at all. Brush teeth, pj's and he climbs up into the top bunk. He is so low key. We read a story, say prayers and then he says, "I think I feel a bit scared."
Do you want me to call your mom? He says yes.
Daddy came and picked him up. It was a stellar effort for such a little guy to try a sleepover. I told him I was proud of him and he could come back and try again anytime.
Vivi is now bathing herself so she can sleep in my bed tonight.
No comments:
Post a Comment