It Used to Be So Easy

 March 27, 2023

My how times have changed! I am looking over this "old" blog which I have not visited for many years. My heart is warmed by these daily stories I wrote, maybe for myself. I forgot about these lovely times.

Today, Sophie is 18, soon to be 19, and in her second semester of being away at college in New York. We moved to Washington State right before she started her Senior Year of high school, which was unbelievably difficult for her.

Vivian is left here, alone, without her sister, and is now a Junior in high school. She and I don't always get along. It seems that we, as parents, have rules and expectations, and she can not figure out how to meet these expectations.

It was very easy, in the old days, to type up cute anecdotes about the sweet things these little girls did. But it is not so easy to even think about, less live through, these teenage years. The reality is painful enough. Why would I want to subject myself to writing it down?

Yet I feel I must. As a record for any other parents out there, who could feel less alone. And as a record for the culprits themselves, who may one day look back and read these tales with horror and shame. 

Vivian and I had been left alone for two months while Dad worked a job in another country. This means I drive her 24 miles one way to school daily, at 7am, for 8am start. It also means that sometimes I can take sub jobs at various elementary schools near her school. It's very convenient. 

I literally have to drive her everywhere she needs to go. She recently got her license, but for reasons which may become apparent to the reader later, she will not be granted any of our vehicles to drive on her own. 

Her sister arrived home a couple Thursdays ago, for Spring Break. We were overjoyed to see her. However, Sister's Spring Break did not coincide with our own Spring Break, so we still had to take V to school daily. Still it was wonderful to see her. 

Joyfully, Dad then arrived home from his two-month stint the following Tuesday. That morning, on our way to take V to school, she put on some music that I did not care for. When I asked if we had to listen to that music, she got very snitty.

"Well, WHAT would YOU LIKE to LISTEN to, THEN?" she demanded, in a nasty tone.

I calmly explained that I'd like to listen to some new music, perhaps an album, like the new Sam Smith. 

"NOT SAM SMITH!" with an eye roll to wake sleeping gods.

"Well, then, I guess it will definitely be Sam Smith," I calmly replied.

She grabbed her phone, and while I drove, began madly texting. Of course it was about me. Then my phone went "Ding!"

She texted me: OMM that FUCKING BITCH.

Sophie remained silent in the back seat.

I remained silent. As the sounds of Sam Smith played, silent tears fell down my cheeks. I cried because I felt sorry for myself. I felt sorry that a child I loved so dearly would call me that. I felt sorry that I have a monster for a daughter. I felt sorry. Just sorry. I felt very sorry for myself that she exhibited this behavior while I was in the act of providing her transportation to her school. I felt sorry for the mother/daughter relationship I wished we had, but didn't.

She saw me crying and felt bad. "Mom? Please don't cry."

I didn't respond. 

After a few minutes, I told her she could leave her cell phone in the car. She wouldn't be needing it.

"But how will I text you about after school?"

She would have to figure it out. I could not let her keep the tool which she used to hurt me with, which I owned and which I paid for monthly. 

Tomorrow will be one week since we took her phone away. Her sister has returned to college in New York. Her dad has been home for almost one week. 

She needs the phone for many things. She needs updates about lacrosse practice on the TeamSnap app.

She needs to login to her Starbucks work app so she can see what shifts she is scheduled for.

She needs to text her friends at school to arrange rides to work/lacrosse practice.

Sunday, she had her work time wrong and showed up late. However, she slept on the couch all morning, and didn't bother to look at her phone at all to doublecheck the work schedule. She "thought" it was 3:45 but it was 3:15. She was late. 

Sadly, this is not the first time she has screwed up her work schedule. 

She has also burnt bridges with two of her friends. I mention this because one friend, Octavia, used to give her rides to work, and let her stay at her house until work time.

Another friend, Elle, is the sister of Sophie's boyfriend. But one day, V and her friends made fun of Elle's boyfriend, and Elle felt very hurt V didn't speak out against the boys making fun of Elle's boyfriend. Elle still feels betrayed by that and doesn't want much to do with V. V is mean to her "friends" and often claims they are "oversensitive". She used to be able to hang out at Elle's house, but not anymore. 

All this means that I don't know what she will do or how she will waste time until her work begins at 5:15pm tomorrow. Her school gets out at 2:30pm. 

I continue to hope she will outgrow her poor judgment and begin to be responsible and trustworthy. 

One more thing: she loves lacrosse and wishes to play on an elite team called Top Left. It costs $3400 to play on this team. They have tournaments on the East Coast over the summer in July. College coaches are there. 

This is a big investment for someone who acts like a jerk to her mother. 

She has agreed to pay the $500 deposit.

May 13, 2013

Kids Update:

Today Daddy went to Vivian’s class where they were studying manufacturing and factories and gave a talk about the old days when he worked at Cisco.

This weekend, on Saturday night before Mother’s Day, Sophie’s 7^th tooth came out. It was an eye tooth.  Vivian already lost her 7^th tooth some months ago, but her other eye tooth was loose. Once Sophie’s tooth came out, she really wanted to pull this loose one out. They both wanted the tooth fairy to come in the night before Mother’s Day.

They made me some paper chains and beautiful cards. We went to Family Fun Day at their school – they climbed the rock climbing wall and swam. Later we met some friends for dinner.

 I subbed in the after school yoga class for K-2 graders. Both Vivi and Sophie are in that class. They just love yoga and I am so grateful. I really hope they can learn some coping mechanisms and tuning into peace for themselves that I did not learn growing up.

For the past 2 weekends, the  girls have been invited to birthday parties but haven’t had fun at them. They were both 3^rd grade boys in Sophie’s class and it was tempting to let them go because the parties were in our neighborhood. The first party was for an adopted Liberian boy named Gift who is very spoiled and impulsive. They reported that he told them he wasn’t going to invite them to his parties anymore.

The party this weekend ended up with Vivian having a bruised and possibly fractured heel bone.  She jammed her heel onto a ledge and then continued to run on it. They play chase a lot at this age with the boys and she said she was scared of the boys catching her and beating her up so she continued to run even though her foot hurt. When we picked her up, she was limping. The next day, Mother’s Day, we took her into town to get an xray.

The doctor told us to go back to the waiting room and wait while he called the xray tech. I figured he was in the next room. But what he really meant was that he had to call him on the phone to come in. Lord only knows how long THAT would take. We asked the doctor what the outcome would be if we discovered there was a fracture. He said he would put a cast on if necessary, or else just tape it. My husband had already taped it. Then he told us, with a bit of an attitude, that he told us it would be 20 minutes til the tech came.

I’m sorry, no you did not. You said Wait and I will call him. But he never told us any time frame. We ended up leaving because we didn’t want to waste our entire day. We are keeping her heel wrapped and she is doing OK.

How many more days til Easter?

This is a question I am getting several times per day now. I try not to be irritated, but honestly, Viv knows the answer. I think it is a case of when you are little, you just like to be told things over and over, like stories.

We were watching American Idol today and there was some guy on there named Casey somebody performing. He might have been an ex-contestant. He had his hair in a bun (!) and a scraggly looking beard. Vivian said, "Mom, I do not expect that man has a wife!"

She read me two stories tonight from her Classic Fairy Tales book. She loves to read and is even doing voices and reading with expression. It tickles me to no end.

Sophie is spending the night at Inbar's house. Inbar spent the night with us last night. Since it was Good Friday Eve, traffic was horrific and Inbar's mom told me it took her an hour to move 1km. She asked if Inbar could spend the night at the last minute because the traffic was so horrible.

What is the big deal about Good Friday Eve, you ask? Most children in Uganda, if they go to school at all, go to boarding school. The reason for this is that it cuts down on the parent responsibility of having to arrange transportation and food each day for a child. Children are sent off to BS at age 6-8. They come home only for 3 breaks per year. Christmas, Easter and a month before fall term. But mostly they go all year.

Thursday night all  the locals are getting their kids from boarding school for the 4 day weekend that will last thru Easter Monday. They will send the kids back to school on Tuesday after Easter Monday. Whenever boarding school is beginning or ending, traffic is a hot mess here.

Since we are all alone, Vivi is in my bed. So long as she keeps to her own side, I really don't mind.  The woman who waxes me said her first born daughter wanted to sleep with her up til the age of 15!  Especially when she would come home from boarding school. That does not give me much hope.

By the way, we leave for our first trip to Turkey in a few more days. The girls are super excited. You would think they are going to Disneyland!  They are about to jump out of their skin. I got the SpaceBag down from the top of the closet and had them try on pants and shirts to see if any warm clothes still fit.

Vivi does not want to wear any dresses or any bright colors. She basically wants to wear anything that looks like boy clothes. That reminds me. The other day, she told me she was going to marry a girl, because then she wouldn't have to have a baby.

I am scared to ask where this logic comes from, because to the best of my knowledge, she wouldn't know the technicalities of where a baby comes from anyway.

The good news is that they have plenty of warmish clothes to wear in Turkey. It is supposed to be beautiful spring weather - 45-61 degrees. Just perfect.

Their friend Inbar is Israeli and it was really cute hearing them tell her what she was going to miss about Easter. They really wanted to share Easter with her. We did an egg hunt with her for fun yesterday. But they said, "It is so fun when the Easter bunny leaves a jelly bean trail!"  "And you won't get any chocolate or Easter basket?"  They were devastated to know this won't happen to their friend.

Another topic that came up in the car ride today was, "Why do so many people in the world not like Israeli's?"  If only I had an answer for that. It was also very cute to hear Inbar recite for us the story of Passover. The girls were captivated by it.

Vivian was troubled by why the whole world is only celebrating Christian holidays and not Jewish  ones.  But I assured her it depends on where you live, and reminded  her that in Zanzibar, we were there over Ramadan, and people were definitely celebrating there.

Holiday Schedule

The girls and I came up with a schedule for our days since they are on a two week break and there may be no travel in sight!  We made the schedule just like what they have in school. Every hour is a new activity. The schedule goes like this:
8am - Breakfast
9am - Exercise and Meditation
10am - Workbooks
11am - Piano practice / Art
12noon - Lunch
1pm - Outside play
2pm - Movie / Games
3pm - Pool
4pm - Chores

So far, so good.

Also, Viv has been fighting a viral infection of some sort. It started with fever on Saturday. The fever cycles up and down. She has periods of being tired and just laying on the couch, complaining of headache and dizziness, interspersed with periods of being her normal crazy self- laughing, joking, making annoying sounds.
Yesterday, she begged for ice cream so I told her that if she wanted ice cream, we would have to walk to get it. It's about 1/2 mile each way. She said her back felt hot and cold. I'm not sure what that means, but she has complained of this before.
Last night was the worst. She felt like a hot coal laying in the bed. I took her temp between her legs and just on skin it registered 101.8!  This morning, she was a normal temperature.
I know that if I take her to the doctor, they are not going to be able to diagnose anything. There is no symptom that shows a bacterial infection and without bacterial infection, they will not give her any medicine.
She also complained of pokey feelings in her stomach. This makes me think she could have a parasite or amoeba. Amoebas are common ailments here in Africa. However, without a stool sample, they will not diagnose her with amoeba.
Children are commonly getting these fevers without any accompanying symptoms. It has been 3 full days. We are on Day 4. I hope the worst is over.
I will go to the pharmacy today and get her Gabbroral, which is a medicine for the gut and cures any kind of stomach/amoeba issues. I gave her my last Gabbroral yesterday.
Daddy is on another trip. He came back last Thursday night, and left again on Saturday night.
They are doing their workbooks now. :D

Talent Show

One more thing to report that happened while I was gone:

Sophie found a tick on her stomach and pulled it off. This was her first tick here in Africa. There are lots of ticks especially because there are cows and we have dogs that get ticks a lot.

Also, the school has a talent show every year. They open auditions by grade. Last year they chose 2 acts from each grade. This year, they are only choosing one act per grade. Auditions for 1st gr happened while I was gone. Vivian entered a watercolor painting and won the audition for first grade! The principal has asked that Vivian bring in a small collection of her artwork and we display it for the talent show. I was shocked and thrilled. She is a brilliant artist, but I had no hand in this at all. Also, she was chosen by a group of her peers.No adults were involved in the decision.

Sophie and her best friend Inbar also prepared a song for their 3rd grade auditions. They sang Jordin Sparks One Step at a Time. They came in 2nd place to an African boy who can dance just like Michael Jackson.  The French teacher, in charge of Student Council, said that their act was very good, and they will have a chance to perform it sometime, if not at the Talent Show. The only thing I did was to download the backtrack. My husband printed off the lyrics for them and they memorized them on their own. I coached them just a small bit.

I am pleased and proud at both girls' self-motivation and am glad the school encourages these types of events, outside the normal curriculum of reading, writing and arithmetic.

Vivian Love and Another Tooth Lost

I recently went on a trip to the US. I was gone for 12 days. I had to leave for the airport 10pm, well after the girls' bedtime. However, they would not go to sleep. Especially Vivian. She was insane with depression.  I kissed her goodnight and goodbye, but she was hyperventilating and could not stop crying.

"Buh-hut (gasp) Mah (gasp) meeee (gasp), I (gasp) don't (gasp) want (gasp) you  (gasp) to (gasp) gooooo!" she wailed.

"I'll be gone just a few days and besides, you are going to have so much fun with Daddy. He'll cook yummy food for you, he'll play lacrosse with you, you can do archery with him. . . " I tried to console her.

"Buh-hut (gasp) I (gasp) only (gasp) like (gasp) YOU (gasp) taking (gasp) care (gasp) of (gasp) uuusss!" she wailed on.

" You are very very tired and when you get tired, you get upset. Now I want you to lay here and calm down, take some deep breaths and close your eyes. You need your sleep because you have school tomorrow," I explained.

She asked me to lay with her. So I relented. For about 5 minutes. But the minute I tried to leave, the hyperventilating started all over again. I realized that me staying in the bed with her or not was not going to make any difference. I had to go.

She begged for one last kiss and hug. I left the room to the sound of her sobbing.

My husband said he was not looking forward to the morning. When she was a baby, and we had similar instances of her not going to sleep, we would let her cry it out. However, when she woke up, she would begin crying all over again, as if she picked up where she left off!

However, when the morning came, she got up and was cheerful as usual.

I have now been  back for almost one week. Her right eye tooth came out
at school this week when she bit a Lemon Drop candy her dad asked me to bring back from the US. She got to keep her tooth in a small  treasure box they give out at the school nurse. At 6 years old, she has now lost 7 teeth and is one tooth ahead of her sister who is getting ready to turn 9. They have both lost the bottom 4 and top front teeth, but now Vivian has lost an eye tooth.

The tooth fairy brought her pastels, a Magic School Bus book about Fall Leaves and a golden dollar coin.

Every day that I have been back, Vivian tells me how much she loves me and how happy she is that I am back. She tells me she loves having me for a mommy. She is so expressive of her love for me.

Tonight, we were doing water colors and she asked if she could listen to her CD of Bible stories.

Bad Dream

It was just about time for me to wake up when I heard some choked sobs coming from the hallway. The sobs made their way into my room.

"I had a bad dream Mommy!" she cried. It was Sophie. She was wearing only underwear, and climbed into the bed with us. My husband comforted her.

"I dreamed that I got arrested and they took me away from you and I didn't wanna be away from you!" she explained through her tears.

It's times like these when I am grateful my daughters still need me. I cherish them wanting to snuggle in bed with me.

Even though she is 8 years old and very very tall, she has only been on this earth for 8 short years. I love being her mom and am glad she still needs me.

Pole-ittan Ice Cream

You would think it is Christmas day here!  They want to wear their costumes every single day after school. And then, after donning the Wonder Woman and Bat Girl costumes, they say they are "training" and they begin sparring matches. It is rather hilarious.

Also of note, we have some Neopolitan ice cream. I don't usually buy it b/c Sophie only likes vanilla, plain. Only Viv likes chocolate and other flavors. They are not used to eating Neopolitan.  Last night, Viv says to her dad, "Daddy, can we have some Pole-ittan ice cream?"  He says, "What?"  And she says, "You know, Daddy, Pole-ittan." She opens the freezer door and proudly points to the ice cream in the freezer. 

In 1st grade, Viv has started her new unit on Celebrations. They study how communities celebrate various events, across all religions and cultures. The teacher has the classroom decorated with a christmas tree and lots of other things.

She came home with a long stemmed rose yesterday and a red envelope. She said "Ni Hao" and explained that red envelopes are how you celebrate Chinese New Year.

Today is the school's celebration of Ugandan Independence Day. This year happens to be 50 years of independence. Sophie will be performing the song "there was an old woman who swallowed a fly" with a twist. The librarian at the girls' school has written an African version called "There was an Mzee, who swallowed a fly".  They are honoring the book launch and the kids will be singing the song to celebrate.

Halloween Madness

This weekend, Sophie was invited to sleepover at her best friend's house. Best friends, in 2012, are now referred to as bee-eff-eff's by children.  It is getting a bit easier for Viv to accept the fact of Sophie being invited for sleepovers.

One thing we did, by ourselves, was get the Halloween boxes out. This caused a ton of excitement for Viv. When we moved overseas and I was deciding what to bring or not, I decided the holiday decor was a "must have" item to make the house feel like a home.

I must admit, it gets boringly blue here at the equator. Weather is pretty constant all the time, never too hot, never too cold and no seasons, but the holiday boxes help a lot in that department.

She was so excited to look through the boxes. Mummy that dances to Thriller - check.  Rock with light up "stay away" sign and evil laugh - check.  Small cauldrons and pumpkins - check.  Black apron with glow in the dark skeleton bones - check. Gorilla mask - check. And when I was back in the states last year, in November, it was the perfect time to pick up some bargain basement items at the drug stores.

I got a mirror that has the voice of a man saying "Get me out of here!" with light up face/eyes inside the mirror. It's a bit creepy but just perfect.

I also bought our costumes a year early and I'm so glad I did. I went with a Super Friends theme. Batman for daddy, and his sidekick for me (of course), with matching Wonder Woman costumes for the girls. But, in case someone did not want to match their sister, I do have a Bat Girl costume. It's all black and Viv loves it.

Depths of Compassion

9/7/12

Sophie continues to amaze me with her compassion.  When she learned that her father was not going to be home for his birthday, she said, “But MOMMY! That’s even more sad than if Daddy isn’t home for MY birthday. POOR DADDY!”

I am pretty sure I would not have said anything like that at her age.

When her sister was sick yesterday, she was so helpful. She grabbed whatever we needed; water for her to take a pill, the thermometer, etc. and announced, “Nurse Sophie to the rescue!”

Vivi came down with tonsillitis two nights ago. Her tonsil was swollen to the size of a strawberry! I never saw anything like it. She told me, upon laying down for bed, that her neck hurt.

“Well, lay a different way then,” I suggested.

“No Mommy! I can’t get comfortable. It’s when all this snot is going down my throat.”

“Do you mean your throat is hurting? Your neck is the outside, your throat is where you swallow food, on the inside,” I explained.

I looked inside her mouth and her tonsil was huge. I couldn’t even see the back of her throat. When I walked her to the medicine closet, she began whimpering and the tears started falling. She was having a great time feeling sorry for herself.

“Mommy, I tried to tell you this before,” she cried.

I gave her an ibuprofen and some sore throat spray and put her to bed. She fell asleep before the bedtime story was over.  I was glad she fell asleep so fast. 

Later in the night, she crawled into my bed, and she was the last one up the next morning. This usually never happens, so I knew she wasn’t feeling well. Another clue was that she was not hungry.

We visited the school nurse, and then headed into town to the doctor to see which antibiotic would work.  She was miserable on the ride into the doctor, and a bit better on the way home. We stopped at the grocery store on the way home, and she took great delight in showing anyone we saw her throat.

They gave her penicillin. Her tonsil is still swollen, but the school nurse is so wonderful. She is the kind of woman who I wish was my own mom. She is so loving and caring. She even called us that afternoon to find out how the doctor’s visit went. She said if Viv felt OK, she could come to school the next day, but she would make sure she took her antibiotic at lunchtime. She also suggested Viv not do PE, but instead, rest at the clinic during PE time. Viv just thrives and blooms in all the attention the nurse gives her!

International Sleepover

We have been back to school for a little over 2 weeks now. My daughters are in 3^rd and 1^st grade. We are entering the territory of separate playdates for separate daughters.  The older daughter is at the age where she is being invited for playdates without her sister. This is  completely appropriate and normal. However, my husband swears that he and his brother were best friends and never did anything without the other.

This week, Sophie, 3^rd grade, was invited to a Belgian friend’s house Friday after school for a playdate.  The exchange went something like this:

We are standing in the schoolyard after school. Parents are chatting while kids are having one last go on the playground equipment before being carted off home at the end of the day. My daughter and her friend approach me and the Belgian Mom (BM). 

Belgian Daughter (BD) to BM: Can Sofee come to ow-ah house for playdayt on frightee?

BM: Shrugs her shoulder and turns to me. “Is dat ohkee witchoo?”

I say sure, sounds great. But in my mind, I am thinking little sister has just been left out in the cold. We discuss it on the car ride home.  I really don’t even want to tell Vivi about this playdate because I know it is going to trigger an outburst.

Viv moans, squinting her eyes in pain, “Sophie’s going to Lois’s house? But not me? OH! I HATE it when Sophie gets invited to playdates. It’s NOT FAIR!”

“Well, what if we invite Leon (pronounced Lay-on) over to our house for a playdate?” I suggest.

Leon is the brother of BD. He is in Vivi’s class.

She immediately brightens. “OK Mommy.” Problem solved.

Two days later, I am chatting with BM again when BD and Sophie approach. This time they have another proposition.

BD to BM: something unintelligible in Belgian

BM to me: Lois is asking if Sofee can spent da nyte? Is dat okee?

I say sure, but I know Vivi will be crushed. Even the offer of sleeping in the bed with me can not fix the feeling of abandonment she has when her sister is invited somewhere to spend the night without her.  Suddenly, I remember about inviting the brother for  Vivi to play with. I ask BM and she says it’s OK.

Right now, all is well. Vivi barely acknowledged leaving school without Sophie. I brought her and Leon home and they are both happy. They are playing very nicely. I love the low drama factor when my daughter plays with a boy. I seem to remember having the same low drama, low fuss experience when playing with boys myself. 

They were out in the garden (this means yard in the US) and I heard them talking excitedly about pumpkins. Pumpkins grow all year here and are a main staple. We tried our hand at planting a few but so far, not so good.

I hear Vivi shout: “No Layon! Let’s show my Mom!! She been waiting FIVE WHOLE  YEARS for a PUMPKIN!”  They run inside to get me. I pretend to be surprised.

The small green pumpkin is the size of a large orange. It is hanging on a brown and withered vine. I don’t even know how it still looks so green and fresh.

“Can we carve it?” Vivi asks.

Soon Leon’s mom will come to pick him  up. I hope I can be enough for Vivi tonight. She was utterly shattered when Sophie had a Brownie sleepover at the end of last school year. I had never seen her heart so broken and it killed me.

Her moods can pass like clouds in the sky.  I never know how she is going to react. A strong reaction one day does not necessarily portend the same kind of reaction the next time. Does that mean they are growing up?

UPDATE: When BM came to pick up Leon, Vivi protested saying she would be bored. She quickly asked if Leon could spend the night with her!  Leon is VERY tiny. He is 6 but looks 4. He claims he is not scared to spend the night.

His mom said it was OK so now we have our very own sleepover guest.

UPDATE 2: All went great! Fed them dinner, there is no drama at all. Brush teeth, pj's and he climbs up into the top bunk. He is so low key. We read a story, say prayers and then he says, "I think I feel a bit scared."

Do you want me to call your mom?  He says yes.

Daddy came and picked him up. It was a stellar effort for such a little guy to try a sleepover. I told him I was proud of him and he could come back and try again anytime.

Vivi is now bathing herself so she can sleep in my bed tonight.

Three Scary Vegetables

This weekend, my daughter informed me that her band was messed up now that one of the members had moved back to Lebanon. The band was called The Three Scary Vegetables, and one of the songs went something like:

We're in the soup, we're in the soup,
HOT HOT HOT

She also explained that the members' names all rhymed with potato. One was potato, one is tomato and one was karado (carrot-o).

Stay tuned to find out what will become of the group that is now down to two members.

After homework today, Vivian began cutting out birds she learned to draw, and was determined to make a nest for them. She left a basket outside and the dogs chewed it up, so we fished it out of the trash and used it for the "nest". She has taped the bird pic's inside of it, complete with a picture of eggs as well.

She has made art exhibits of:
1) Cut-outs of fruit, that she glued onto black construction paper and cut out, hanging each one from a ribbon.

2.) A series of portraits of all the contestants and J. Lo from American Idol.

3.) Underwater creature series, one picture of each creature

4) Bird series, featuring artistic pic's of flamingos, ibis, crow, robin, etc.

I am listening as I type to them singing "How will I know if he really loves me?"

Dear Hearts

I am so in love with these little creatures God has given me. They are such loving girls. Vivi tells me several times a day how beautiful I am. She makes sure that I know there is no one more beautiful than me. Sophie came up to me and hugged me today and said, "Mommy, I just needed to tell you that I loved you today."

They began school last week, and Sophie is just the most excited child in the world. There is nothing more she loves than school. And the cherry on top is that she got into the class she wanted, with the teacher she wanted and her best friend is also in the class with her. She didn't want the weekend to come. School began on a Thursday, and then the weekend was here, so it was a short week, which disappointed her.

We had a delightful weekend. Daddy has been home which is a real treat. And we have not done much of anything. Haven't left the house except to go to the grocery store. The girls played lacrosse with Daddy and practiced their archery. We swam at the school pool today for the first time all summer. They did major renovations this summer.  I was thrilled the diving board was reinstalled. Sophie did a great job diving.

An old movie was on Turner Classic Movies called Light on the Piazza. It was about a beautiful girl with a brain injury who acted like she was 10 years old. The girls were very interested in it. Those old movies are great because they have good story lines that are interesting and not inappropriate. I was shocked they wanted to watch an old movie.

I love and adore them so much.

Uganda for one year

I can't believe we have now lived in Africa for a whole year!

The school the girls attend is amazing in many ways. Swimming is part of the regular curriculum,but both girls shy away from any kind of swim team training or practice, much to my dismay. They love to swim for fun, but even though they have wonderful potential, they do not want to do any type of swim competition or training.

Sophie loves school. She has many friends and is very popular. Lots of her schoolmates vie for her attention. She said she loved dogs, and some little boys in her class started crawling around and barking. She's becoming a bit preoccupied with "crushes" and who likes who, but I think it's all normal developmental stuff. She professes to love math best, although she is not very quick at it. She started playing violin this year but loves recorder better.

Vivian claims to hate school. She has a hard time getting along with people. She is a very loving child and it seems that her issues come from being over sensitive. Many times she claims that "no one wants to play with her" and she doesn't have "any friends". If she perceives two girls ganging up on her, she says that "no one" likes her. Her teacher has only good things to say about her. She is a natural born leader and very very bright when it comes to her school work.

She's been having issues wetting her pants. This only happens at school. It doesn't happen at all at home so of course it is situational. She hasn't even wet her pull up at night. She claims that the bathrooms at school are dirty. Or that boys are trying to look at her. She likes her privacy so we will continue to work on the pant wetting issue. She is holding and holding it so long that by the end of the day, she just lets it go. It happened before break when she was getting ready for swim class, and the teacher said she was mortified and really embarrassed. They have given her permission to use the bathroom for the 3rd graders since it is cleaner. These problems never happen at home so that tells me there is a lot of stress going on at school.

We are just coming off of a long break - 3 weeks for Christmas holiday. I am sure it will not be easy for her to go back to school, but she is doing very well.

She tells me she loves me all the time, tells me she is sorry to have to say it, but she loves me a bit more than she loves Daddy. She wants to be with me all the time, never wants to be away from me. She loves to play the "Love Game" where we profess our love to each other. "I love you more than the stars love the sky" and "I love you more than the God loves the whole world!"
She always wants someone to play with, but no matter who we invite over for a playdate, she ends up unhappy.

If we invite a friend of Sophie's, she claims they leave her out.

If we invite a friend of hers, the friend inevitably ends up playing with Sophie because she is so easy to get along with. Vivian likes to dominate and tell everyone what they must play and gets very upset if everyone doesn't go along with what she wants to do.

She also loves to eat and peeled 6 bananas yesterday morning without asking permission and wanted to eat them all. She did eat them all, plus 2 hotdogs for lunch, plus 2 chicken burgers for dinner. She asks for candy constantly, as does Sophie.

Vivian does very well with her reading. Both girls lost a tooth on the same day, Tues Jan 3. Viv lost her first front tooth and Sophie lost an eye tooth on the bottom. Tooth fairy has been taking one extra night to get here while we are in Africa.

first sleepover

We hosted our friend Maya for our first sleepover. It has taken me this long to feel equipped to deal with anymore than my own 2 children. I am fragile, I admit.

It was very easy really, besides Vivian getting a bit high maintenance when she got tired.

Vivian also informed us that the reason people put Christmas lights on their houses for the holidays is to make us remember to buy things for Christmas. I think she got this from me explaining why they decorate stores for the holidays.

boy pants

We are hitting some milestones around here, and some I'd rather not acknowledge. Last week, Sophie wore "playclothes" to school. She is beginning to care more about being comfortable than looking "darling". She wore a pair of nylon workout pants, boy pants, that I got from a free bag of Freecycle clothes. . .to SCHOOL! Gone are the days where I could dress her in anything and she never complained. She never really was into her ego either though. She is not one to dote on the material world and spend hours looking in the mirror. She is happy just being who she is.

I asked her if anyone said anything about her "boy pants" and she said no. She was very surprised - she had thought it would be a big deal, but nobody cared.

Also, they have stopped coming into my bedroom each and every morning. That's something they do when they are very little. They are like homing pigeons - something inside tells them that as soon as they wake up, they must locate the mommy. But now they engage with each other, reading books, getting dressed, playing in the sink, or the latest - eating a pile of candy for breakfast, up in the top bunk.

As far as her tooth, the one she lost is almost completely grown in, and the one next to it is slowly loosening. I think she'll lose teeth the way she grew them - nice and slow.

This week, she wore the same outfit two days in a row. I don't have the heart to tell her that people might tease her. She is so innocent and practical. Her clothes weren't dirty. They are comfortable. It's a matching outfit and so it makes sense to wear it again.

1st Loose Tooth

Tonight is a milestone. I did not have a sitter so I took the girls to my meeting with me. They behaved beautifully. Put them in a room next door with a movie and food and pretty much didn't hear from them.

Sophie told me that there was something sharp in her tooth. Her tooth was somehow bothering her. I noticed while brushing her teeth tonite that a space had really opened up between her bottom middle teeth. That sucker was loose!!! SO EXCITING.

Also, her little sis has been falling asleep very quickly, leaving Sophie still awake in the top bunk. Last night was the first night that I gave her a book lite and Junie B. Jones, 1st Grader, Toothless Wonder chapter book to read herself to sleep. Is it any coincidence she is reading this book and her tooth gets loose?

In Sophie's words, "It's a miracle!"

4 year checkup

I have one entertaining little daughter.

Today was the 4yo checkup, complete with shots. Based on last year's visit for both girls, wailing and crying and thrashing at the thought of shots, I requested that Daddy be there for today's visit.

Viv knew the shots were coming and she was OK with it. I told her she could have whatever treat she wanted, and suggested a Slurpee, which she readily agreed to.

At the doctor visit, she was highly entertaining and chatty. 4 going on 24. Each time the dr. asked a question, a charming response was elicited.

How old are you? I'm 4. (bat of the eyelashes)

Do you eat well? - I like to eat.

Do you eat fruits and vegetables? - Yes.

What kind of fruits do you like? - Mangoes, apples, oranges, strawberries

Do you like vegetables? - Yes, broccoli and cauliflower.

Do you go to school? - Preschool.

Do you like school? - Oh, yes!

Doctor? Do I have to lay on the table? In a minute.

Do you like to exercise? Yes. I do gymnastics. I can do a cartwheel. (puts hands up and points toe) Dr. says - Oh don't do that here!

She climbs on the table and waits patiently. While dr. listens to her heart, you hear deep breaths, like a prank caller.

After the exam is over, and the nurse comes in with the needles, Vivian tries to touch the tray and move the tissue that is covering the 3 needles. As she hugs Daddy, and the shots are administered into her arm, she gets a wincing look on her face, and then when she is informed the shot is over, she cracks up! A laugh of relief.

There was no crying, no tears, no screams.

She got a mix of 3 flavors for the Slurpee - Goji Cherry, Wild Cherry and Watermelon Lime.

Closing the pool

Vivian has been demanding to go swimming every day since we got back from Disney. Even before Disney, when the weather turned warm, she wanted to swim. But I hate the indoor pool - unless I'm swimming laps, it's very cold for me to wade in the water without getting a workout.

So I signed Viv up for swim lessons and yesterday was her first day. They are at 2:10pm and on the day where Sophie gets off school early. We picked Sophie up at the bus stop and headed straight for the pool.

I brought Sophie's swim stuff so she could swim around while Viv was in her lesson. I met the new swim teacher and was back and forth between keeping an eye on Sophie, and throwing toys for her to dive for, and checking on Viv's progress at swim class.

After swim class was over, the girls wanted to continue swimming, which was fine with me. It's wonderful at this point that I don't have to get in the water with them anymore. They can both swim and hold their breath.

The lifeguard came over to the baby pool where all the kids were playing and looked at something in the water. It was small and brown. uh-oh. He called his supervisor, they fished it out and confirmed it was time to close the pool! The whistles blew and everyone got out. I was glad so we could get home and get on with baths and dinner. The girls asked what was going on, and I said that a baby must have poo'd in the pool and when there is poo in the pool, they have to close the pool.

After the girls took hot showers, dried off and were dressing, I jokingly whispered in Sophie's ear:

"Did YOU poo in the pool?" fully expecting her to get a wide grin on her face and say NO Mommy!

But instead, she sheepishly and quietly said, "yes mommy. I'm sorry."

I can not describe to you the state of shock I was in. She was the last person I had expected to have pooped in the pool! But I have to admit, I was wondering why seemed to be picking her suit out of her butt crack so much. I had just bought her a brand new suit long enough for her torso so it didn't make sense she'd be picking at it.

Around me I heard conversation of the young girls on swim team, aged 10-14, asking if there were phones they could borrow. They all needed rides. I offered my phone to a sweet young girl to call her mom. How could I not?

I asked Sophie why. She said her stomach hurt. Then she said she didn't know. I suppose the real answer is because she is 6. ???